May is the month that we remember our mothers and the many ways they have impacted our lives. Some have fond memories of moms who were always there, who were nurturing, caring, loving and gave of themselves sacrificially each and every day. We felt loved.
“My mom played a role in the development of my maternal instinct, starting when I was a little girl who deeply loved taking care of my dolls. As I grew up, I developed the unique ability to be in tune with others’ feelings. As I became a woman, this maternal instinct continued as development in various relationships and maturity in how I interacted with the world and those around me.”
Others may have grown up with a different kind of mother; one who was tough, demanding and harsh. We were uncertain of our value and whether we could ever measure up. Regardless of how we were mothered, it had a direct impact on the type of women we have become and how that translates to how we interact within our community. All mothering has something to bestow, and even in the imperfect or negative moments, we can learn about ourselves and the opportunities these times teach to becoming a woman who can impact the world. How we go about doing that is ALWAYS a choice!
“My mother was of the impatient, intolerant type. Sensitivity, kindness and the warm and fuzzy was never present. Her parenting could have been done differently, however, it did instill in me a determination to rise above my weaknesses and to not let fear or opposition get in the way of what needed to be done! I was never allowed to let my innate shyness keep me from moving forward in my life. I became tough. But as a result, mothering was never something I ever saw myself doing. It did, however, become the best surprise of my life!”
Mothering is hard! Some become mothers naturally and to the outside world, make being a mom look easy and seamless. Some do have it down better than others.
“I observed my mother who was passionate, loving and did whatever was needed to care for those around her. She was the first person I would go to when something was wrong – she was there to pick me up when I fell down. My mom would hold me tight when I was scared – she never got tired of watching me show her what I had learned or got tired of listening to my stories. She taught me to stand up for the vulnerable – she showed me how to sacrifice my needs for the needs of others I ran to my mom when I needed my most basic needs met because I trusted that she would do everything she could to fulfill them. My mom was created to love people deeply and through her example, she made a huge impact on me and my life!”
But even the best of moms struggle with moments of doubt and whether this was what they were meant for. However, that does not mean that you can’t grow into mothering over time. It might not come naturally, and it may need cultivating. It could be a part of ourselves that has lain dormant or suppressed, leading to convincing ourselves that it’s something we don’t want… But; if we choose to embrace it, it is always rewarding!
“I learned things about myself that I never would have known before. I grew. I was stretched in ways I never thought possible. I became better. What I also learned was that mothering isn’t just something we do for children. It is the way women can interact and influence the world. The gift of motherhood can be an opportunity to engage the strongest part of who we are.”
Maternal instinct isn’t just the way a mom bonds with her child, but rather the way women care for the world and engage the strongest part of who we are as women!
“By choosing to embrace ‘motherhood’ I learned about communication, compassion, accountability, sacrifice and a much deeper love. Those same traits can be used to care for the poor, the elderly, our government, and the community. How we manage an office, juggle a career, and value our friendships can utilize those same characteristics to grow, become better and influence others.”
Being motherly does not mean that we can’t be tough or influential, or that we are settling. What it does mean is that we can have a unique insight that might be missing otherwise. Becoming motherly can be a way of tapping into a part of ourselves that brings about strength, change and provide meaning to a hurting world. Every woman has the potential to mother in some way. Be empowered to choose your motherhood and live it fully! It might be the most rewarding surprise of your life!!
Birth Choice is always here to help you navigate the ups and downs of discovering your motherhood! If you want to talk to someone we are here to help and empower you!
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