Dating decisions, dating decisions…what an important topic! Dating can set the stage for the rest of your life! So, who you choose to date is a very important decision. Think about it. Who you date could determine a myriad of things: who you marry, your in-laws, the children you will have, where you live and maybe even the jobs you take. It can also determine your physical and emotional health and your ability to bond with others – all as a trickle down from who you choose to date and the outcomes of your dating relationships. Your future is yours for the taking and dating plays a part. So, since it’s summer and summer equals ice cream, grab yourself a little bowl of creamy goodness (if froyo is your thing no judgement) and let’s get started!
Dating and Sex
Casual sex is touted as a right, a necessity, and something that EVERYONE is doing. Can that be right? Statistics show that this is actually NOT the case – especially in high school! Influencers in our society say that following suit will lead to a satisfying and happy life. But is that true? Sex always carries risk! Entering into a relationship with sex means you must be prepared to deal with the consequences.
First, there is pregnancy. Birth control only “reduces” risk and carries its own side effects (& we wrote a whole blog about those http://bit.ly/2Xo92MW). And once pregnant, you are now looking at a whole new set of decisions to make. Regardless of your choice in that moment, you are now looking at an altered future. Physically and emotionally, you are a different person.
Second, there are sexually transmitted infections. Even with all the many products available, risk of contracting an STI can only be “reduced” as well. There is no absolute, 100% way to eliminate the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection besides only having sex with one person who has only had sex with you. Choosing to have sex outside this context can affect your fertility and your health now and in the future. And what about your self-image? Do you really want to have to tell your partner at the start of a new relationship that you have an infection?
Finally, there are emotional risks. Sex releases hormones that bond people together. In a committed relationship this is great, but if it’s casual, there is a possibility you will break up and there is no escaping the emotional disconnect. You can experience feelings of hurt, anger, bitterness, or depression. What you experience in your current relationship and any past relationships is taken with you onto the next.
Nothing creates more satisfaction than sharing that special moment with someone who loves you, is committed to you and does not carry baggage from the past or an infection that can be passed on to you or your children. So how can this be accomplished?
Think and plan ahead and don’t shy away from having standards!
Be choosy about who you date and with who and when you have sex. The most ideal situation and relationship is when you only have sex with someone who has only had sex with you in a committed and permanent relationship. Choose someone who encourages you to reach your goals and has hopes and dreams of their own. Finding someone who respects you, listens and communicates well, is honest and patient will have a lasting impact on you and your future.
Some things to think about when you’re figuring out who you want to date could include: how does this individual treat friends and family? Do they share the same values? Do you share similar interests? Have a check list of characteristics that are important to you and know that you deserve to have an amazing partner to experience life with – do not waver!
Plan ahead for your date. Group dating can be a great opportunity to get to know another person and how they interact with others! Have planned activities that keep you in public view and never find yourself isolated with someone, especially if drugs or alcohol are being used. This lowers your inhibitions and you are more likely to do something you wouldn’t otherwise.
Sex doesn’t just happen unless you want it to. Have a plan and stick to it. Being with someone that you want to do fun things with is a great sign of a healthy relationship!
Whoever you are reading this, we care for you. That isn’t a silly and quick thought, it is genuine and serious. We want you to make wise decisions for your good because we want you to be happy and filled with no regrets. Dating decisions aren’t always easy to navigate and so if you ever need some advice, we would love to chat! Thanks for sharing some of your day with us and protect yourself this summer with sunscreen and wisdom!
