5 Facts About Social Media and Dating

1.) Social media is emotionally not on fleek…

77% of polled teens agreed that people are more fake when using social media than they are in real life but 59% also feel closer in their relationships because of social media—> (http://pewrsr.ch/2hO31U2). See the struggle here? Teens struggle with being authentic online, and many fail at setting emotional boundaries as a result. So when you see the boy that you noticed in first period posting images of his brand new car, he could easily be in his room just googling pics of cool cars. What could make you first believe he is wealthy and hip could really be an absolute lie. This also tempts us to lie on our social media so that our lives look more interesting to others. Because we can’t trust what we see online, we must be cautious.

2.) Teens are spending most of their life online…

Research is showing that teens are spending an average of 9 hours a day scrolling, liking and perfecting their online profiles—> (http://wapo.st/1Mw2YRE). Why is this so important? Because social media affects our perception of others, those we are crushing on, and even ourselves. If we spend most of our day staring at edited images of people we know, including our love interests, we will inevitably start comparing ourselves to others. This can be very harmful. I don’t know about you, but I have never posted a chubby pic of myself and I’m guessing your peers don’t either. People are spending hours a day making sure that they only present perfectly filtered images of themselves. When you become that inwardly focused, your sensitivity increases and your become vulnerable to feeling rejection and hurt. Not to mention that staring at a screen too long must have a negative impact on one’s eyesight…but I’m no scientist so don’t quote me on that.

3.) You like someone by “liking” someone…

Sounds odd, I know, but 47% of teens express their attraction by “liking”, commenting or otherwise interacting with that person on social media —> (http://pewrsr.ch/2hO31U2). We no longer put on our favorite t-shirt, spray on way too much perfume and approach our crush after Pre-Algebra, we “heart” their Instagram post instead. This is disheartening for many reasons, one being that we don’t truly communicate with each other and when we do communicate, it’s shallow and edited. We should not be flirting by using little emojis, we should be having a casual conversation over froyo to better get to know each other. And a side message to our young men, put down the phones, pick up the girl from her parents home and shake her father’s hand. I promise it will be a more interesting time than tweeting.

4.) Sexting is happening a lot, and my grandma doesn’t like it…

Nearly 40% of all teenagers have posted or sent sexually suggestive messages—> (http://bit.ly/1VqQByN) which is obviously a BIG deal. When my Nana heard this statistic, she needed to take a nap because the thought overwhelmed her so much. Almost half of our teenage population is revealing what should be kept private which is detrimental to their emotional health. We are taking what is precious and making it a flippant subject. Intimacy is meant for marriage and marriage alone but social media is watering down that opinion. Besides, posting naked pictures of yourself is extremely dangerous…you don’t know what someone could do with that information. Take a free lesson from my Nana who always says, “Keep your privates private and eat your greens”. She’s a crazy lady but has some solid wisdom here.

5.) Social media makes you more cranky…

Hormones and PMS are already frustrating in and of themselves (can I get an amen ladies?) but social media is not helping. When a crush doesn’t comment on your Instagram post or doesn’t respond to your Facebook message, we emotionally freak out! Roughly about 30% of polled teens feel jealousy/anger towards their significant other because of social media—> (http://pewrsr.ch/2hO31U2). Why is this so important to us and our relationships if it is just social media? Because social media is no longer something we only participate in, it is slowly becoming our identity. Binging on social media is only going to screw with your emotions more which will make teenage dating more of a challenge then it already is. 

Because of all these implications, Birth Choice is seeking to educate people so that they can better understand the effect social media is having on ourselves and the people we love. Social media is not necessarily a bad thing, but we see that society MUST address dating and social media as one unit because of these clamoring statistics. Our online profile shouldn’t matter this deeply to us. What should matter is our character and what we are doing to grow into mature and wise adults in society.

So, in closing, help is out there. If you are a teen, there is still hope. The old saying about doing everything in moderation applies here too. Limit your time online, unfriend people who bring you down, unplug for several hours a day to live and connect for real, and ask more questions about how people dated and romanced each other in a courtship prior to social media. Lastly, think about honoring your Nana’s wisdom. You’ll never regret it!